Broken hearts, families, and communities.

My heart cries out for lives lost, beds that are empty tonight, new christmas jammies that will go unworn, sticky hands that no longer squeeze a mothers fingers. For speedy little heart beats silenced by horrific terror. Chubby cheeks that hot tears will no longer be wiped off of. elastic waist jeans and back packs too big for their bodies that will go unused. A fevered brow that a mother will no longer soothe. I find myself grieving in the most mundane tasks that many parents no longer enjoy. I have spent a majority of the day crying and cursing the evils in this world. I do not claim to know how these families feel but I do know that I feel and feel deeply for these people. I have always had a strange capacity to mourn, I feel like I easily place myself in anothers shoes and today I pictured my own life devoid of my most precious little people, spouse, or friend. Suffocating, sickening, empty. School should be safe, life should be cherished. This has just hit so close to home. A friend of mine moved 20 miles away from this city last month. These were people's babies. Like my very own babies. I mourn for the gruesome manner in which those little bodies were desacreted, bodies with so much growing to do and the terror they experienced in their final moments. The fact that they died in great fear possibly, causes me great anguish. I see people posting thoughts of comfort and solace but I personally am not looking for those today, not tonight. I am mourning with those that mourn and grieving with them because tonight they are not looking for solace or eternal perspective ,though that time will come, no tonight they cry because they want to hold their baby and they can't. They want to hear their laughter and they cant, they want to watch them peacefully sleep and they will not, they want to look upon their happy faces and they will be unable to until this mortal life ends. Just like Jesus Christ wept with Mary and Martha at Lazarus's death though he knew the eternal outcome, tonight I weep with Newtown for empty arms, paralyzing grief, and lives that will never be the same.

Tonight I hold my family close and cry tears for those who cannot do the same.